son of a...that's gonna leave a mark.

They get older but they still have rules. Read me!

Rules of the 4-year-old.

I seriously cannot stop sneezing. I feel like I am inhaling pepper every second of the day...and at night, the sneezing turns into coughing...that really annoying cough that just tickles the back of your throat and wakes you up in a coughing fit the second you fall asleep. Yeah- that one. Blargh!!

I don't really have anything else to say. The baby still doesn't sleep much but the past two nights have been slightly better because we have been keeping him up late. So last night, for example, was a good night. He went to bed around 9:30 and woke up at at 2:30 and 5:00. Yep, that's a GOOD night. Sigh.

Ummm I am having one of those spells in life where I just want to go out and buy stuff. Why does that happen? I mean, I kind of need stuff because my pre-baby clothes aren't all that flattering yet (the ones that even fit) and the maternity clothes are obviously out of the question, thank God.

But besides that, I just want to shoppppp. Like $5,000 What Not To Wear shopping spree type shopping. I can't even imagine how fun that would be. Well since I can't spend $5,000 I go to places like Payless and Old Navy and try to get my fix. Eh.

I recently acquired these two (cute, yet black and shapeless- perfect for the woman with the scary middle section seen only by the likes of mothers) dresses at Old Navy



that I bought because I thought they would (and do) look really cute with the new black suede slouchy boots I had to have. I also needed them btw, I didn't have any flat black boots, and everyone needs those. Right? Just say yes.



and incidentally, it all goes really well with the cutest purple "suede" bag I found at Payless for like $12. It's much cuter in person, this picture looks funky, the actual bag is a darker purple...and it's big, which is good because I habitually carry around a boat load of crap I don't need.



There's also a really pretty black and white scarf I got at Old Navy that I couldn't find a picture of...oh, and I found a bunch of really cute tops on clearance at Cato for like $4 each. CUTE tops, too.

Now- I really really really need to find some jeans that fit. Ugh. I hate jean shopping. I have like 2038532983 pairs of jeans too and none of them fit me very good right now, except my dingy schlumpy lounging around jeans that I have had for like 8 years....you know the ones that fit you like a glove no matter what size you happen to be at the moment (how is that possible?) and are all dingy and raggedy at the hems from years of tromping around parking lots and puddles and what-not. Ahhhh I love me these jeans, but, not quite conducive to wearing anywhere but the grocery store or on other various crappy errands. If my beloved Clinton ever saw me in these he would never speak to me again. Assuming he would speak to me in the first place. But that's not the point.

Anyway hope you enjoyed this look into my closet...or my piles of stuff on the dresser, as it usually ends up.

Ever wonder why your baby does what it does? I know!

Read my latest at thewhitehousestar.com. (Please?)

Picture it: 6 am...I'm lying in bed, dead to the world after a long night with Mayor McNeverSleeps, when suddenly:

"Mama?"
"Mama?"
"Mama? I'm hungry."
groan grumble grunt "Ok. What do you want?"
"Ummmm. An apple?"
"Ok. Sounds good."
falling back to sleep....a few minutes later, he jumps on the bed...
crunch crunch "Mama?"
"Mama?"
"Mama?"
"Yessss?"
"In the apple orchard, the apples fall off the tree and inskets get inside them. We don't eat those. And the ones that inskets don't get inside of, the ones that stay on the trees, we eat them."
"Huh?"
(Louder now) "In the apple orchard, the apples fall off the tree and inskets get inside them. We don't eat those. And the ones that inskets don't get inside of, the ones that stay on the trees, we eat them."
"Huh?"
"In the apple orchard...."
"No no, I got that part...WHAT gets inside them??"
"Inskets"
"Huh?"
"INskets"
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Insects!!!!!"
"Yeah- inskets!"
"Do you know what insects are?"
"No."
"Bugs."
(silence) "Ewwwwwwwwww. I don't want this apple anymore. Can I have some Fruit Loops?"

No less than 5 minutes later, after he had run off somewhere, I suddenly hear a little giggle over the baby monitor, and then he runs back into my room...
"Mama?"
"Yes?"
"The baby just told me he didn't have a very good nap. That's what he said."

Sigh...no kidding. Neither did I.

But here's a cute pic, just 'cause.

My latest contribution to the interwebs...

A story about popcorn and nipples.

Sometimes I look at Ethan and see Jacob all over again and sometimes I see a completely different face. But I took this picture of Ethan last night and had a flashback, rightly so. Jacob was several months older than Ethan when his picture was taken, but you get the idea.

Ethan, Jacob...in that order:

 

So one of my LJ friends, vurumai , posted this picture today:



aaaaaaaand let's just say it reminded me a little of a picture I took several months ago of Jacob:



I guess all men are built the same?

Some friends have asked for more recipes and Crock Pots came up so here's 2 of my favorite Crock Pot recipes that you will love, guaranteed!

I love Mexican food...it's my fav, by far. At restaurants I order shredded beef tacos and decided I had to figure out how to make this stuff at home. It shouldn't be too hard, it's basically just spicy pot roast. I tried several times on my own and it was always pretty bland. Then I found this recipe. WIN!! 

Spicy Shredded Mexican Beef

Ingredients

• 1 (2 1/2 lb)  boneless beef chuck roast (can use a 3-pound roast)

• 1 (14 ounce) can chopped diced tomatoes, with juice
• 1 cup spicy salsa
• 1 (4 ounce) can diced jalapeno chiles, drained
• 1 large onion, chopped
• 2 tablespoons minced fresh garlic
• 3 tablespoons chili powder
• 1 tablespoon honey
• 2 teaspoons salt
• 1 1/2 teaspoons cumin
• 2 cups beef broth
• black pepper

Check the website for more detailed instructions but basically dump it all on the Crock Pot and turn it on. The end. Shred it up and it will make the yummiest soft tacos you've ever had. For extra yummy, pair it up with the homemade salsa I posted last week. This is seriously EASY and delicious for a party, btw, if you're sick of serving the same old stuff to a crowd.

________________

Next- Chicken. Who doesn't love a home cooked chicken dinner? This might be the ultimate comfort food. This is probably the easiest thing I make that actually tastes really good.

My Crock Pot Chicken

4 chicken breasts (frozen or thawed, doesn't matter)
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1 can cream of celery soup
1 cup white wine
Kosher salt
Pepper
Dried parsley

Ummm there is nothing more to this recipe than throwing the chicken in the Crock Pot (even if it's frozen solid), and then mix up all the other ingredients and pour it over. Turn it on.  If the chicken is thawed turn it on Low and cook for 6-8 hours, if it's frozen turn it on high for 6-8 hours. Serve over rice or egg noodles.

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Bonus recipe: I can't make that chicken without making my roasted carrots as a side dish. No this isn't a crock pot thing but oh well.

Carrots- peeled, sliced in half on the thick parts and then in pieces. Rule of thumb: Make them the size of your thumb. :-p
Olive oil
Kosher salt- a generous amount but don't give yourself a heart attack
Pepper
Dried thyme- same as salt...use plenty of it, you almost can't over-do thyme. Almost.

Coat carrots in olive oil and then sprinkle with salt, pepper and thyme. Roast at 425 for about 30 minutes or until they get browned. I usually turn them a couple of times.

and here's what I have to say about it.

Clicky clicky.

A couple (more) Halloween Pics, just 'cause.


I decided the only reason I dress up for Halloween is because no matter what my costume is I will find a way to incorporate blue eye shadow and glitter, and way too much mascara.


Last year I was a gliggery Go-Go dancer. This year I ended up being a glittery bee (again...same as 2 years ago):


I don't know what next year holds in store for me, but rest assured it will be glittery.

Baby Tiger



Like most ninjas, Jacob managed to evade the camera all night, so I don't have a good one in full costume, but here's the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle himself, sans mask:


And now a couple randoms:

They were holding hands, how cute is that?


Ok I had to snap this picture because it cracks me up...I put him down for his nap wearing two socks and he woke up from his nap wearing no socks, and one sock was up by his head. The other sock? I never found it. How does a 7 week old get a sock above his head? He doesn't grab or throw things yet. I blame gnomes. That must be what keeps him up at night, too.

1. Column- if anyone wants to read it. I finally got over my freak-out yesterday and came up with something. Not that it's awesome or anything but it was SOMEthing. Baby steps.

http://www.thewhitehousestar.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=section&layout=blog&id=6&Itemid=50

(The top one is new, the other two are old ones he threw up there the other day to fill space.)

2. Recipes- if anyone wants to make yummy food.

I made these two favorite things for a Halloween party on Saturday and I thought I'd share them with you because a) they are really good and b) very easy and c) everyone has a fit over them. I believe that is a southern expression...so "a fit" over something is actually a good thing, unless you're talking about a bratty child. Then "a fit" really sucks.

First: My recipe for homemade salsa. It's 100% mine and it took me years to perfect it. I always wanted to make homeade salsa and it always turned out wrong wrong wrong. I started out using fresh tomatoes and there lied my problem....just too watery and flavorless. Eventually I tried canned tomatoes and voila! Salsa magic.

The next recipe is for Garlic Chicken Pizza which is a knock off of a bar we like to go to- The Flying Saucer. The place is like Beer Paradise, but they have good food, too. Anyway- one night, my sister declared "I can make this" as we were chowing down on the pizza and sure enough she came pretty close. Actually- I like it better homemade. I bring this to parties a lot and cut it up in small squares...people seriously go nuts for it. It's also good for dinner/lunch.

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Salsa

1 28 oz can crushed tomatoes, use a good brand...I like Red Gold
1 jalapeno pepper
1 small white onion
1 bunch cilantro
Juice from 1 lemon (lime is fine too, I actually think the lemon gives a better flavor)
1 clove garlic
Kosher salt- I've never measured...usually about 3 good sized pinches (about a teaspoon, I guess??)
Pinch of sugar

Chop onion and jalapeno in large pieces and pulse in a food processor with the garlic clove for a few seconds. Then add the tomatoes, cilantro (just cut off the top of the bunch, discard the stems) lemon juice, salt and sugar and pulse for a few more seconds.

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Garlic Chicken Pizza

1 Pillsbury Thin Crust Pizza Crust
1 small jar basil pesto
2 cups mozarella cheese
6 (or more!) garlic cloves, minced (I use my garlic press)
1 package grilled chicken slices, diced into very small pieces (Or sometimes I just use leftover grilled chicken)
Diced jarred (pickled) jalapenos

Roll out the pizza crust and bake for about 4-5 minutes. Mix the chicken and the minced garlic together.  Top the crust with basil pesto, cheese, chicken/garlic mixture and scatter the diced jalapenos. Use as many as you like depending on how spicy you like things, but a little of these goes a long way. Bake for at least another 10 minutes or so until the cheese is bubbly.

Happy Halloween, kids. And now, this year's edition of obligatory cute kid photos. I feel bad because the only one I have of Jacob was taken on my phone and he's at school right now. Maybe I will get some better ones of him later. But who am I kidding? Nothing is cuter than Halloween Babies anyway.



Rawr!!!


Ninja Turtle...why are all of these dumb characters making a comeback? It is pretty funny though. He even says "KAWABUNGA, DUDE." Sigh.

Seriously is there anything better in the fall than pumpkin foods? Pumpkin pie...pumpkin bread...pumpkin lattes. Ok so I don't really like pumpkin lattes but they seem to be a big hit with everyone else I know. My favorite though, are these pumpkin muffins. I stumbled across this recipe a while ago and I can't get enough of them. They are easy and I make them all the time. I think the next time I make them I am going to make a pecan streusel to go on top....I'll let you know how that turns out.



I pretty much stick to this recipe except for a couple of variations:

1. I use more pumpkin...about 1/4 cup more
2. I never have pumpkin pie spice, so i use 1/4 tsp (heaping) each of cinnamon, cloves, ginger, allspice and nutmeg
3. I use way more cinnamon sugar on the top than called for...it makes a yummy crust on the top, hence my idea for the pecan streusel that I'm going to try probably sometime this week.

RECIPE FOR PUMPKIN MUFFINS
From Gourmet November 2006
Adapted from the American Club
Makes 1 dozen
Active time: 15 min.
Start to finish: 1 hour

INGREDIENTS:
1.5 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 cup canned solid-pack pumpking (from a 15-oz can)
1/3 cup vegetable oil
2 large eggs
1 tsp pumpkin-pie spice (a combo of cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, ginger, and allspice)
1.25 cups plus 1 Tbsp sugar
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp cinnamon

Equipment: 12 foil or paper muffin liners; a muffin pan with 12 (1/2-cup) muffin cups

DIRECTIONS:
Put oven rack in middle position and preheat oven toe 350F. Put liners in muffin cups.

Whisk together flour and baking powder in a small bowl.

Whisk together pumpkin, oil, eggs, pumpkin-pie spice, 1.25 cups sugar, baking soda, and salt in a large bowl until smooth, then whisk in flour mixture until just combined.

Stir together cinnamon and remaining 1 tablespoon sugar in another bowl.

Divide batter among muffin cups (each should be about 3/4 full), then spinkle tops with cinnamon-sugar mixture. Bake until puffed and golden brown and a wodden pick or skewer inserted into center of a muffin comes out clean, 25 to 30 minutes.

Cool in pan on a rack 5 minutes, then transfer muffins from pan to rack and cool to warm or room temperature.

Good Morning...

Coffee? Check.
Clean house? Sorta Check.
Swine flu? Check.
Insane dreams? Check.



First things first...Jacob has swine flu! Ack!! OMG my kid has pig flu...this is the worst thing ever!! That's exactly what I thought until he actually got it. Newsflash: It's not a big deal. At all. In fact, I have seen him more sick when he's well. He had a very low fever and threw up Friday night. I had a funny feeling so I called the doctor...mostly because when you have a 6 week old infant in the house you really can't be too careful. Anyway- they said it would probably be a good idea to see him. This was at 11:30 am. They closed at 12:00. My regular office wasn't open on Saturday, but the one 40 minutes away was. Hmm. OF COURSE Hub was at work. The baby was crying because he was hungry. We were all in our pajamas. But I just had this nagging feeling that I should go. I seriously pulled out the best Mom Win of my mom career. (Horrifying child birth experiences not included.)

Did you know that it is possible to get yourself dressed (albeit in a huge ugly sweatshirt, jeans, ugly shoes and no socks), a 4 year-old dressed, a bottle prepared and a baby flung in a car seat in approximately 2.5 minutes? Yeah I didn't think so either. We managed to get to the office at 12:12...they waited for me, thank goodness. They tested him and sure enough he had it. Since it was caught within the first 24 hours they can give him Tamiflu...a wonder drug, if you ask me. By yesterday morning he was bouncing off the walls again. Oh joy. Anyway- he's perfectly fine...but I'm still obviously making him rest. By "making him rest" I mean telling him to rest and him not listening.

Oh and the makers of Tamiflu can officially kiss my rear. I think I need to take out a second mortgage to buy their stupid drug. Let me just say if this is, according to our fearless leader, supposedly a "national emergency" WTF do they not make the drug that treats it AFFORDABLE?

Moving on- I went on a mad disinfecting rampage yesterday morning. Which resulted in a very clean house, at least most of it. Of course now it's close to post-bomb state again, but it was nice while it lasted. I seriously do not understand how that happens so fast. If I am literally not cleaning something during all waking hours it just evolves into this explosion of crap. I guess I know what I'm doing today. Again.

And now for the dreams...I am having crazy nightmares lately. First- flesh eating vampires take me hostage and try to impregnate me. Unfortunately they were not hot sexy vampires like Edward Cullen, who, come on, let's face it, I wouldn't mind that dream so much. Except for the flesh eating part. These were uber creepy, disheveled, zombie-looking vampires. Incidentally, their methods of procreation didn't involve anything carnal, thank goodness. They had these viles of blue liquid which reminded me of those shooters you get in Cancun at those skeezy bars...Anyway- it was freaky. And they would force their captives to bite out chunks of your own flesh and spit it out so they could eat it. I managed to escape and find a cop, who turned out to be one of their own. This went on and on...and it really was more like I was living in horror movie inside my own head. Eventually we (myself and another hostage) managed to outsmart them, lead them to the outside of this strip mall we were hiding out in and then they vaporized in the sun. The end. (neither of us got knocked up)

The next dream was much scarier, in the sense that I related to it. I ended up in some middle eastern country, in a Tom Cruise movie. (Why do most of my dreams have me in movies? But it's real. But it's still a movie?) Anywho- we were in this weird flea market type department store, which was inside a mall. If we could just cross the "border", which was really just leaving the store and making it into the mall, we would be safe. But I had my children with me...Jacob, Ethan...and another baby. After a shootout, ninja-style fight, high speed foot-chase, sneaking around and eventually negotiating, they released me. But they only let me have the two babies and not Jacob. I refused to go, but the threw me out the doors with the babies. I was on the floor holding them just sobbing and screaming for Jacob, but they wouldn't let him out. It was AWFUL.

The end. Going to go boil my house now. Later.

As promised, a food blog.

The other day fall temps really hit us hard, and every year at that time I get catapulted into the kitchen to welcome it with style. I don't know what it is about fall...I guess because summer is so hot and the last thing I want to do is slave over a stove or eat anything warm.

Anyway- one of my favorite fall and winter dishes: the quintessential beef stew. This one is a little less ordinary than your brown-gravy drowned old-timey beef stew. Not that there is anything wrong with brown gravy. I love me some brown gravy. And this stew also sports its own version of brown gravy, with lots more flavor.

I have to admit, I'm really hesitant to post my recipes on here. The thing is, I love to cook...but I don't exactly pay too much attention to measurements...so I'm afraid something is going to get lost in translation since I just instinctively throw in ingredients. I will do my best to guesstimate though, and hopefully it will turn out right.



(The supporting role in Beef Stew was portrayed by Garlic Cheddar Biscuits- recipe also to follow)

So...here's how I do it.

Beef Stew

1.5-2 lbs stew meat (If your grocery's stew meat looks like dog scraps, skip it. You want good quality meat here. Sometimes I just buy a chuck roast and cube it up myself, discarding all the icky looking pieces)
Olive oil
Kosher salt
Fresh ground pepper
1/4-1/2 cup flour
1/2 small can tomato paste
3 large garlic cloves, chopped
2 yellow or white onions, sliced in large chunks
1.5 tsp dried thyme
1 cup red wine
1 (quart) box beef stock
1 15 oz. can diced tomatoes undrained
5-6 carrots, sliced
4-5 red potatoes, diced
1-2 tsp sugar, optional

Place the meat in a bowl and cover with salt, pepper and flour. Place a stock pot on medium-high heat and let it get hot. Coat the bottom with olive oil and then brown the meat really well. Add onions, garlic, thyme and cook for a couple of minutes. Then add the tomato paste. Make sure your pot is still really hot and then add the wine. Scrape off all the bits at the bottom of the pan, then add the stock and tomatoes. Cover and simmer for at least 4 hours, longer if possible. I prefer to make it in the morning and simmer it all day.  About 30 minutes to an hour before you're ready to eat, remove the lid and add the carrots and potatoes. Increase heat to a low boil and it's ready when the sauce thickens and the carrots and potatoes are soft. (If you like peas, add a handful of frozen peas a few minutes before serving) And always, before serving, TASTE IT! It usually will need additional salt and pepper, and I usually add sugar at the end, it brings out all the flavors and takes away some of the tomato acidity.

****
And now for the biscuits...yep...these are a replica of the Red Lobster biscuits. Not that I frequent Red Lobster, but back when Hubs was in college he worked there and man those biscuits were goooood.

Garlic Cheddar Biscuits

1 cup Bisquick (I never have Bisquick, but I found this "recipe" for Bisquick and it works well.)
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1/3 cup milk
2 tbs butter
1 tsp dried parsley
1/2 tsp garlic salt

Mix Bisquick, cheddar, garlic powder and milk. Don't over-mix it. Scoop them out on a greased cookie (8 medium sized biscuits) sheet and bake at 400 for about 8 minutes. Melt the butter with the garlic salt and parsley. Brush onto biscuits and bake for about 5 more minutes until browned.

Ethan is 6 weeks old today!


Ethan: Must I be in a dress?
Me: It's not a dress.
Ethan: Really? It looks remarkably like a dress.
Me: Well if you must know, it's called a gown.
Ethan: Isn't a gown a dress?
Me: But it's in very masculine colors...chocolate brown and blue, your favorite.
Ethan: But it's a DRESS.
Me: Look at the bright side, look how well you match the couch.
Ethan: I give up.


"Brothers gotta hugggg." Yeah I know they aren't hugging but I will quote Tommy Boy any chance I get.


Hello Monkey, I will eat you now. (he really tried)


Practicing for his first KISS concert, I think. Except for the duck outfit...that will have to go. But he's got the hand thing down.

No really. For real. Seriously. I'm going to blog more. Yep. Must. Write. Something.

I had an idea. Besides my normal rambling about things such as my kids, dog, chores, shopping, things-that-annoy-me, etc...I'm going to also focus more on the one thing I love very much...cooking. So- there will be some posts dedicated to food, specifically, stuff I make (usually original recipes, sometimes other people's recipes I love.)  Sounds fun, eh? My idea came from a really good dinner I made (recipe to follow in another post) and I found myself wishing I could make this for all my friends. Well, I obviously cannot do that, so I will do the next best thing and tell you how to make it, if you're so inclined. Why would you want to do that? Because anything I blog about is guaranteed to be AWESOME, that's why. So even if you aren't much of a cook you can learn how to be. And if you are much of a cook, it's always fun to try new things.

Moving on...being the mom of a new baby I find myself awake at odd hours, like, a lot. And I have been cursed with the inability to fall asleep immediately upon hitting the pillow, unlike my husband who will be snoring the instant his eyelids close and sometimes before. Anywho- even when I should be sleeping, I'm likely lying awake in bed thinking of ridiculous things. As a treat for you I am going to fill you in on some of the inane things I spend my precious sleeping-non-sleeping time obsessing over.

For example:
1. I spent a great deal of time thinking about double o's. Have you ever stopped to think how many different sounds in the English language come from the twin o's????  (book, shoot, cooperate, floor, poor...) Think about it. You too could spend an hour or so thinking of oo words in the middle of the night. You will be amazed. Yes I know we all probably learned this phenomenon in like 2nd grade, but still...pretty fascinating. Incidentally, there is an actual reason I got on this train of thought. I recently started reading the Sookie Stackhouse novels and I found myself wondering (at 3 am while trying to fall asleep) if her name was pronounced Sookie like "Spooky" or Sookie like "Bookie". Obviously I have not seen the True Blood shows so I don't know the answer. Feel free to inform me.

2. Lists. This is a good one. Grocery lists, to-do lists, Christmas lists...etc. Virtually a huge waste of time because of the simple fact that a) I don't have a pen and paper in a dark bedroom and b) I will remember none of it while I'm awake and near a pen.

3. Virtual organizing. "I could put this here, and that there...and my closet would really look better if I moved my shoe racks over here and my purses over to this side...hmmm...then where will I put storage bins..." and so on and on and on and on. Before I know it, my entire house is completely organized before I even leave my luscious fluffy bed! Oh wait...

4. "I really need to start writing again. What can I write about. I need to reinvent my blog. Maybe I can write about food. Food is love! My blog needs a name..."  

5. "Hmm. Maybe I love food too much. I really need to start working on losing this baby weight. Ok who am I kidding? There was some pre-baby weight that needs to go too. I know! ..." and then I proceed to lay out the perfect weight loss plan complete with exercise schedule and menu. (And then I wake up and have 2 cups of coffee and cinnamon rolls.)

6. 5 always morphs into 6 which is obsessing at great length over clothes, shoes, hair and general appearance. Things I want to buy, things I already have...basically playing paper dolls in my head and creating tons of really cute outfits that I could wear...you know...for the next time I need to go somewhere not acceptable to be covered in spit-up.

That's enough of that, you get the idea. Stay tuned for more from me. In fact, you might get sick of me.

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My dog, I think, is seriously mentally challenged. I have mentioned how he won't leave me alone, and believe it or not it's getting worse. But can someone explain to me why he won't eat or drink unless I am standing in the same room? I mean, I can leave a room with human food unattended for .03 seconds and he will eat anything and everything he can shove in his face...but when it comes to his food and water I have to be present to witness the beast at the trough. And the sound of him drinking water is enough to make me want to kill someone...it's like nails on a chalkboard. I have tried everything. I have tried putting it on the deck and I've tried leaving the room immediately after filling it up...he's like a damn camel, he won't drink for days...it was a battle of wills...and he won. It was either I win and he dies of dehydration or I give in and stand there and plug my ears. What an ass.

It is so hot and gross outside. Summer is the bane of my existence. I would give anything if we had a pool. No way am I going to take my big pregnant self to a public pool right now. Besides, there isn't one anywhere near me anyway. Mark my words: one of these days I am going to have a pool in my backyard. Yeah I know they are a lot of upkeep, blah blah, but that is what pool boys are for. I will gladly work that in my budget and give up things like food and clothes. Who needs food when I need to be skinny in a bathing suit anyway? That solves the clothes problem, too.

Oh- I put this on my Facebook this morning that I heard Spandau Ballet has reunited. Seriously, wtf? That ship has sailed. Like, a quarter of a century ago. Move on.

Lastly- I am married to a 14 year old boy. Today when Hub had to call AT&T he told the automated operator several, progressively worse, x-rated requests when she asked what he was calling for. She responded with "I don't understand your request."  Eventually she said "I am forwarding your request to an operator." That's when he lost his balls and hung up. I can just see this poor girl getting that fed into her headset.