son of a...that's gonna leave a mark.

1. I'm tired, LG got up at 5:30. NOT COOL, KID. And it's not like he wakes up and chills on the couch to watch tv or something normal. No, he wakes up like he was shot out of a freakin cannon.

2. Has anyone ever paid attention to the "occupations" listed on the American Idol contestant's info at the bottom of the screen? Last night we had:
Bubble Tea Maker
Janitorial Engineer
Floor Maintenance Specialist
...just to name a few.

3. Tomorrow is a big day. We have the Direct TV people coming out to install that crap. We're getting rid of Comcast cable. This might be a mistake, but a) Comcast sucks and b) Direct TV is cheaper. This also means my internet will be switched over to Bellsouth DSL instead of Comcast cable, and that's a little scary but hopefully the DSL won't suck. Anyway...that's all being done tomorrow AND we have decided to add onto our house upstairs in the attic space, so there's a contractor coming over tomorrow to take a look at that and hopefully we'll get that project underway soon. THEN after that, I'm going to a scrapbooking thing tomorrow night at a friend's house. This is in preparation for my upcoming scrapbooking WEEKEND which kicks off next Friday. No, I will not be wearing the Scrapping Nut shirt.



or apron



or button



BUT I will create more scrapmasterpieces like these. (So you can't make fun of me...because look at them, they are awesome.)

4. It's going to be like 3 degrees tonight. What? I guess that explains why my feet are blue and cold. It also explains why today is going to be super duper stressful because LG and I will be cooped up in here, which means he will be bored off his ass and looking for new ways to make me miserable. Any ideas for fun ways to entertain him inside when it's too cold to breathe outside? A movie will only entertain him for about 12 seconds.

Last night we were watching TV and Hub and I looked at each other and at the same time realized it had suddenly become WAY too quiet downstairs after LG announced he had to go potty. So Hub gets up and goes to retrieve and assess the damage and I hear this:

*pitter patter of running feet on the kitchen floor as soon as LG heard someone coming after him*

Hub: "Jacob, what were you doing?"
LG: "Nothinggggg" in the classic sing-song voice that pretty much means "something really, really bad."
Hub: "Jaaaacob, what were you doing?" a bit more stern.
...silence...
LG: "I put a block in the potty and flushed it allllllllll gone."
...silence...

(Insert the sound of me hysterically laughing upstairs...probably because I wasn't directly involved in the conversation.)

Hub: "You what?"
LG: "I put a BLOCK (I guess he thought he didn't hear him the first time) in the potty and flushed it allllllll gone."

(I'm still laughing like a hyena)

Hub: (screaming upstairs at me) "WHAT'S SO FUNNY?"
Me: "Uhm. Nothing."

Hub: "You put a block in the potty?"
LG: "Yes, but it's ok Daddy, it's all gone. You can't even see it anymore."

So far the block is still missing in action and the toilet is, as of now, still functioning properly. Something tells me though, that a square block in round pipes is going to cause some kind of plumbing problem at some time in the near future. Stay tuned.

***AI***

THEN it was time for my beloved American Idol. I don't have much of an opinion on the new gal. She didn't really impact the show one way or another. The judges didn't give too many comments, it was mostly all just about the bad singing. My predictions from last night are that the mildly Marilyn Manson-looking horror movie teenager will go far, as well as the last guy. I would say "the blind guy", but poor thing is probably only going to be known as "the blind guy" for the rest of the season. Anyway- I can't wait to hear him on the big stage with a piano...good stuff to come. As far as the girls...the Stevie Nicks girl should do pretty well, but she's the only one I can remember.

Other highlights included Bikini Girl. I can't figure out why she made it through when Kara and Paula both said HELL NO and Simon and Randy said HELL YES (while staring at her ass)...I guess when there's a tie, Simon wins. Anyway...I wonder if she will wear clothes next time we see her? Then there was Sexual Chocolate, who was so proud of this moniker that he had it tattooed across his entire back. Nobody else was terribly memorable but judging from the previews there are more train wrecks to come.

Sorry, I seem to be on a posting bender.

Ok I haven't blogged much about American Idol, even though I am self-admittedly addicted to it. I have a bit of commentary regarding the finale:

1. Fantasia. Really, America? This was the best you can do for a winner? I nearly lost my lunch when she won a few years ago, but now she is looking as ghetto-fabulous as ever, if not more so.  Seriously, she looks like a "lady of the night"...or maybe "lady of the hour"...or maybe "lady of the backseat in the alley behind the liquor store".  Either way, she's gross. And I'm not just picking on her looks. I think her singing sucks. It's so one-trick-pony. The whole point is for the winner to become a pop star, an idol, someone you can look at and say "Damn! She made it big." not "Damn! She got some killah grillz!" (and I hope she doesn't read my blog because she would totally kick my ass.)

2. Speaking of past winner mistakes, did you catch Ruben's performance? Ummm...does anyone else find it sad that a WINNER performed a cover on the finale? He doesn't even have an original song to bust out.  He is still cute, and I'd like to hug him, but to be in the same category as Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood? Uhhh no. That season of AI should just be erased from everyone's memory.

3. Carrie Underwood: wow, she may have taken this stardom thing a little too far. What is up with the Dolly Parton-esque costume with wings? Anyway, she has come a long way from the farm. I think she is gorgeous, and I hope her ego hasn't gotten as out of control as her outfit, because she was so cute and sweet.

4. The group performances. Oh God. Where do I start? First of all, why is Amanda Overmeyer even there? Everyone else is singing all these silly poppish tunes and then all of a sudden the camera pans to her and it's like the Dawn of the Dead. I am all for originality, and it was cool when she was singing badass rock songs, but now it's just creepy. And she looks soooooooo pissed. You can totally tell she feels like a moron singing these dumbass songs. Oh...next, during the George Michael montage, I nearly lost my marbles when whats-his-name, the stripper, did the "bold and naked" line. Seriously I bet that will be on Best Week Ever. Speaking of George Michael...the glasses aren't fooling anyone. You're old now.

5. Why does Donna Summer have a new album out? Disco is dead and that was all she was good at. Let's just leave it in the past, Donna. We all still love your disco, you have not been forgotten.

6. I am going to fold up Randy Jackson from last night, shove him in an envelope and mail him to someone for Valentine's Day next year. I wonder if he craps conversation hearts when he wears that ensemble?

7. And the winner isssss....Whee!! I love David Cook. I think he is going to be a supastah. I felt a little sorry for Archie though. He really is some kind of singing savant and probably deserved to win, but I'd never listen to any of his music after the fact and I guess that is the point. Also, his nasaly, throaty or whatever that weird sound in his voice gets on my nerves.

8. Must end on even number. I'm out of sarcasm I think anyway.