My head hurts so bad that my face hurts. Does that even make sense? I hate spring for this very reason. The flowers, trees and grass are very pretty but they make everything above my shoulders hurt.

I am having the wackiest dreams lately. If I didn't know any better I would think that I was about 8 months pregnant. Hey, maybe I am one of those women who doesn't know she's pregnant until the baby falls out when she goes to pee. This came up on someone's blog the other day and I call the BS card. If you don't realize that there is a human being growing inside of your abdomen then I proclaim to all the world that you're clearly mentally impaired and not fit to be a mother anyway. I mean, come on now...it MOVES, it sucks the life right out of you, it makes you pee every 10 seconds and there is a list of about a hundred other unpleasant things it makes you do, so I guess if you already are a big, wobbly, miserable lump whose body doesn't do anything attractive then maybe you wouldn't realize it. No, I still think it's BS.

Anywho...my dreams. INSANE. Last night I dreamed that I was listening to my favorite radio show Free Beer and Hot Wings (it's syndicated, see if you get it, you won't be disappointed) and all of a sudden pinkpiper222 (who abandoned me) called into the show and was talking all about her LJ friends. I was all "Oh my God, I know her!!" as I was listening to her give brief summaries of all her LJ friends but then I got really mad because she was giving all the wrong facts about them.  Like when she said "and then there's my funny friend, whitehousemom. She lives near you (?) and has a 3 month old baby who does all kinds of crazy things..."  I was yelling at the radio and getting all pissed like "NO HE'S THREE. MAYBE IF YOU WERE AROUND MORE YOU'D KNOW LG WAS THREE YEARS NOT THREE MONTHS OLD" (hint hint)  No really, I really dreamed that.

Then, I was at Kroger buying groceries and there was like a thousand people in line and only 2 lanes open. They were so under-staffed, that the manager, Ann Curry, was even working the registers. I guess she does this on her days off at the Today Show. She wasn't a very good checker and it took forever, she kept having to look up all my produce. Then, FINALLY, she's done and I go outside only to find that some weird guy has stolen my pick-up truck (I don't have a pick-up truck) and he's holding it for ransom until I go to his flea market/rummage sale/yard sale he's having under a tent. 

So, I finally get to this tent down a dirt road, past the Kroger parking lot, and it's full of all kinds of crap from my childhood and my mom's old house. Shelves and shelves of crap that we got rid of long ago. And then some new stuff that the weird dude was trying to sell like Guitar Hero and some amps, and a backpack with a cow on it.  Dude is still not giving me my truck and I'm trying to sell all of this crap and nobody would even come into our tent. Finally, Hub arrived to see what the problem was and went and had "words" with Crazy Man and then they both disappeared. I followed them down the dirt road and they started fighting with Evel Dick, but had turned into big rats or opossums or something ugly with big claws.  One of them got mauled and crawled over to me in a big bloody mess and collapsed in my hands. At this point I'm not sure who it was but it was neither Hub Rat or Crazy Man Rat, but I was genuinely concerned for her and screamed out for someone to call 911. Apparently in my dreams it is not uncommon to call 911 for injured rodents, because they came right away and fixed her right up.  I had now had enough and decided to walk home, but the only shoes I had were ridiculously high peach heels with an ankle strap. I nearly killed myself trying to walk down the rocky dirt road, but I had to escape and I was covered in rat blood.

I lost all my groceries, too.