I'm once again hogging my blog space with maternity clothing nonsense because:

a) I have nothing else to do
b) Newsflash, I hate being pregnant, yet, I like clothes, so I'm embracing it
c) This is my blog and I can do whatever I want
d) Whatever. I just am.

So, all that stuff I ordered from Old Navy last week is too freakin big. That adorable black bubble tank is like a circus tent, and of course they don't have anymore to exchange...so I think I'm going to haul out my sewing machine, chop up the shirt, and see what happens...a la Molly Ringwald in Pretty in Pink, except instead of a wacky pink prom dress, I hope to end up with a cute black tank top that actually fits. How hard can it be? If I eff it up it was only 10 bucks. Oh well.

My trip to the Bahamas is coming up in less than 2 weeks and so I was in desperate need for some summer clothes, seeing that all mine are too small. (Why do I already look 4-5 months pregnant?) ANYWAY- I went back to my faithful Old Navy, went down a size (yahoo!) and ordered a bunch of crap including, but not limited to:

I got this tank in "Acidic Yellow" and "Jalapeno"...I guess they are going with the whole pregnant-women-love-heartburn thing. 

A cardigan the color of a football field, because, that is how big I will be.

I have noticed that maternity clothes designers seem to enjoy wrapping our bellies up like presents with excessive ribbons and bows, but this one was so cute I had to give in.

Another common theme I don't get? The horizontal stripes. I mean, really...way to accentuate the girth people. Again, I gave in because this was like 6 bucks and kinda cute. 



The jury is still out on that black/silver/blue dress up there. It actually came in last week's order, but it was only 10 bucks. Hub really likes it on me. I can't decide if I like it, or if I look like a disco ball. If I'm GOING to wear a disco ball dress, I guess there's no better place than a cruise, right?

Anyway- in continuing on with my cheapass economical self, all of this stuff was less than a hundred bucks, and there's a couple of tops I didn't even picture because they were clearance stuff and by the time I went to grab the picture they were gone.

Oh- and I went to Kohl's the other day because I still have a Christmas gift card and I couldn't find anything. I am thinking I will use it for pajamas and shoes.

So yesterday we went to the mall and the more I walked and the more the day went on I began to realize how uncomfortably tight my jeans are fitting. UGH. Is it already time for me to start embracing the joys of elastic pants? I wore out my last pair of maternity jeans so it's a good thing I ordered some stuff from Old Navy the other day. Hopefully it will be here in a few days. I got two pair of jeans, a pair of crop pants and a couple of dresses I'm hoping I can wear on my cruise. This one is pretty cute, eh? Even though I don't have an enormous protruding belly yet I figure I can probably get away with wearing this.



I also got a cute little black cocktail dress, since I will be having so many cocktails. Sigh. OH...and I didn't order this shirt, but after I saw it at a real Old Navy yesterday at the mall I'm wishing I would have because it's much, much cuter in person. (They didn't have my size in the store and who would wear an EXTRA SMALL while pregnant? Bitches.)



It shall be mine. And the skirt too. Edit: Ok I got it plus another cute dress that was marked down to $9.99 and a top that was marked down to $5.99. Who can resist that? Edit Edit: AND this adorable tank top...the same one mostly_irish got, but in black. TEN BUCKS.

Oh- and yesterday I got some cute black soft leather mary jane flats and some cute black flip flops with a cork bottom.

Stuff makes me happy.

Last night was tremendously UNfun. Somewhere in yesterday's festivities of little people, Santa and jump jumps, LG picked up a stomach bug that clearly came from the depths of hell.

SO FAR, he has not vomited since 5:15 this morning, when I called the doctor, because it was a color that vomit never, ever should be. I looked online and read "go the emergency room immediately!" but fortunately I called first and they told me to wait to see if it happens again. It didn't, so we're in good shape. I think.

ANYWHO. I've had virtually no sleep and LG is vegging out on the couch watching The Backyardigans (Have I ever mentioned how much I love them? Srsly.), so I'm free to think about whatever I want to think about...and that happens to be sleeping and boots. Since I can't sleep, we'll go with boots. I have lots of boots and every time I try them on with any of my forty thousand pair of jeans, I look completely ridiculous. I can only wear so many skirts.

I thought hmmmm maybe I need to get some Skinny Jeans that can more easily be tucked into the boots, no? The problem with that... my beloved Clinton would never, EVER, allow me to wear skinny jeans. The ONLY girl I have ever seen him put skinny jeans on weighed about 12 pounds, and was easily a size 0 or 00. Yes, there is actually a size called "double zero" as if "zero" wasn't small enough.

So I'm wondering...does the NO SKINNY JEANS EVER rule apply to wearing them tucked under boots, too? It's times like this I wish he read my blog.

How else can I showcase my beloved boot collection?

Alas! The Fashion Faeries have visited me. Someone has ordered me a subscription to Vogue magazine...so...whoever you are, a big sincere Thank You and I hope you read this.

OR, someone thinks I dress so horribly that they sent me an anonymous guide to fashion. In that case, I don't say Thank You, I say Bite Me. But thanks for the mag anyway because I like looking at it.

1. Tomorrow I'm having 8 adults and 6 kids over for dinner. It should be lots of fun. I am making Mexican...chicken enchiladas and something with beef I haven't decided on yet. I still have to clean, shop and cook for said dinner party, and just to add insult to injury, Hub is working all day and night today and all day tomorrow...and btw this party was his idea. THANKS.

2. I hate my car.


This revelation comes mere days after we mailed a huge check to pay off the car, making it 100% mine. I have no plans to change cars, because having a paid-for car IS nice, but it would be nice if I had:

a) a left tail light that wasn't busted out (Thanks, Hub, for backing into that trash bin)
b) a right head light that worked
c) windshield wipers that work on a speed other than super turbo
d) keyless entry (it was yanked out last time I had something repaired because apparently it was rigged up ghetto-style)
e) a pleasant odor
f) less than 100,000 miles

3. I am itching for some new boots. I love my new tan casual boots I posted about a while back, but I need some dressier brown leather boots. Not DRESSY, just slightly nicer that I can wear with skirts and such, and I'm pretty sure I don't want a high heel. I can't find any I love for a decent price.

I heart these:

(thank you pinkpiper222 )


4. I thought it was fall. Why is it in the 80s?

5. And finally, last but not least, my movie review. I went to see Nights in Rodanthe last night with a girlfriend. I was really excited about it because I could use a good inspiring love story with a happy ending. Richard Gere and Diane Lane were good together (again) and I like both of them. I'm putting the rest behind a cut because while I don't give away any plot details, if you're dying to see this movie you may not want to read what I have to say.

( my thoughts on this movie )

B is for:

Boots. I got ordered these guys yesterday. Aren't they cute? (FYI, it wouldn't be a whitehousemom post without a Bargain. Zappos lists them for $93 but yours truly found them on overstock.com for $49.99.  To answer your question, no, it does not get cold enough here to warrant such warm and toasty Boots, but I don't care, just look at them. I can deal with sweaty feet.

 

Beach!!!  This weekend my mom decided to take a week-long trip down to the Beach in a couple of weeks. Guess who she invited? ME! (and LG of course, Hub will be working, of course) But what does this mean?  It means I will be here for a week: (I will not be wearing the boots)

( More yummy beachy pictures behind the cut )
While I am at the beach I will be doing this:

1. Whatever I want.
2. Burning Tanning
3. Dodging hurricanes
4. Reading gratuitious amounts of silly novels
5. Writing said novels
6. Hanging out with LG and my Mom

1. I didn't really forget, believe it or not. I don't know what my problem is. I haven't been motivated to write much at all lately. Maybe I am running out of things to say. Ha! On the contrary- I did work on Book Jr this week, and have come to the conclusion that the story is on a fast train to nowhere. Maybe an outline would not have been such a bad idea after all.

2. I am sick. Perfect timing, since we're supposed to be having a LG-free weekend. We were going somewhere, then we were going to stay here, now I have no idea what we're doing. According to my sinuses I will be in bed all weekend. Sigh.

3. Have I mentioned how much I love a good bargain? I went shopping the other day and I scored FOUR pairs of jeans, four shirts and a pair of boots for 80 bucks. I also recently acquired this shirt, but not included in the 80 bucks shopping spree. Even though the shimmery hunter green is reminiscent of a early 90's bridesmaid's dress and originally frightened me, I tried it on and liked it.  I got tons of other tops at NY&Co but since they were mostly all on clearance no pictures are available.



4. My child has taken to calling me "Paula", rather than "Mommy". He also repeated a very loud "SHIT!" after he heard my friend (who he adores) say it. He hasn't said it since...but he does say "poopie" a lot, and he thinks it's very funny to interject "poopie" into every conversation and song he's involved in. "Old Mac Donald had a Poopie. E I E I O." "Twinkle Twinkle Poopie Poo" etc.

5. Speaking of my child...thank GOD his school took portraits this week because I would immediately have him taken away from me if anyone knew when the last time I had his pictures made was. I suck.

Am I too old for this dress? (Turquoise)




Also, do these wildly popular drapey type dresses only look good on stick figure girls? Or are curves okay here? Without a waistline (on the dress, I have one) I'm afraid I'll look like a fancy refrigerator box.